It doesn't matter anymore.
Whatever you say now will remain inconsequential.
Let's just leave things the way it is now cause the damage has already been done.
It can't be undone by words.
It takes a lot more than just that.
Move past the pain & anguish.
Move beyond the lies and fantasies.
Escape your past and live the present.
Don't let your fear cloud your judgement.
& quit being an abject ass.


Drunken escapades

Is this the end?
Was it predestined to turn out like that?

There’s been so much change.
You’ve changed.
I’ve changed.
There’s no denying that we all have changed one way or another.
Whether it was for the better or worse.
Like it or not,
things aren’t the way it used to be.
It’s really poignant, isn’t it?

Regret.
Unhappiness.
Hatred.
Anger.
Confusion.

That is all there is to it.
You can’t change that.
Cause facts are facts.
All you can do now, is sit back and watch everything unfold in front of your very own eyes in sheer horror.
& regret.
Regret about not having done anything earlier, to prevent this undesired outcome.
But it’s just a little too late.
The overdue apology.
Save it.

You can't read me like an open book cause half my pages have been torn out, stashed away from these prying eyes.
So quit wasting your time, trying to figure me out.

Sports day was <3
Dunking booth was awesome (:
I wish Mr Wong had a chance to be dunked though.
However, there was insufficient time.
AND I saved my tickets so that I could dunk him :/
In the end, I had to spent the $6 worth of tickets on 6 cans of drinks.

A lot has happened in the past few days.
Yesterday, I learnt that laughing=lots of scolding from teacher -.-
What a valuable lesson. Righttt.

Story begins:
In Lit class, we kept mixing up the chapters we were supposed to do.
Yapwen started laughing.
Followed by Suganya.
Narelle.
Me.
Jolyn.
Suddenly, "BHAVINA! I want to see you now!"
Upon reaching there,
"What was the joke about?"
"Nothing."
"You mean you'll were laughing over NOTHING? Tell me now!"
"Well someone laughed and we all began laughing as well since you know, it's contagious."
With an annoyed look,
"Ask all those who were laughing to come here now!"

Scolding for the 5 of us began.
Blahblah.
Then Yapwen burst out laughing.
So she yelled damnit loud.
Then Suganya kinda tripped over the edge of the 'stage' at the Theatrette.
Upon seeing that, we all laughed again causing her to burst into flames yet again.
Then she asked many questions & I was the only one who kept answering.
So she said:"Bhavina! I don't want to hear anymore from you! Let the rest answer!"
That was damnit dumb cause like when no ones replies, she scolds but when we do reply, she scolds AGAIN.

She involved Mr Lau.
With Mr Lau around, the atmosphere was damnit tense.
There was silence amongst us all for a good 2 minutes.
Then Yapwen put her head down and began laughing, causing her hair to sorta 'vibrate'.
Goddd, that was chao hilarious lah.
As a punishment, we have to do a presentation on Chapters 1-13 for TKM.
It's due tomorrow and it's 3/5 done, I guess.

Anyway, my group and I were discussing Politics during English today :D
Funny shit.
During Physics, Mr Wong's demonstration was damnit funny lah (:
I realised, I've been laughing more than usual these past few days.
The stress is probably getting to my head, finally.
& I use Laughing Therapy to de-stress.
It helps unless of course, it gets you into trouble with uhmm teachers.

Shittahhhhhh, exams are next week.
I'm screwed as usual.
Promised myself that I'll be serious and study hard this time around.
& the promise is no where near to being fulfilled :/

There's Chem Class at 4 tomorrow.
Skipping Mt Class on Saturday for Physics Class from 9-12+
I bet I failed Mt lah.
I stoned during half the paper last Saturday.
The markers probably laughed so hard while reading my incomprehensible & rubbishy compo and letter.
They surely had a tough time trying to award me any marks cause I myself couldn't understand half my compo & letter.
Hard luck that I'll pass.

I don't get why I have a Livejournal account when it's not even being used.
In fact, I have 3 Lj accounts since I can't decide on a proper Lj address.
I'll probably switch to Lj after exams since Blogger's started to piss me off so bad.
Cause this is the second time I'm blogging within an hour cause my first post wouldn't upload and all the contents eventually got deleted.
Screwed-up blogger :/

107 hours later & yet, no reply .
& for the first time in my life, I'm not in the mood for songs .

I'm overwhelmed with so many emotions right now.
And it sucks.

Today during Pc, I sat beside Suganya since Narelle & Jolyn were at RVPS for some CMC crap.
I was so highhhh during Pc to the extent that I just kept bursting into laughter every few seconds.
& I kept talking gibberish.
I doubt Suganya understood a word I was speaking.
Some words that I spoke even sounded alien to me.
Hahhaha.
I've got no clue as to what came over me during Pc.
I actually pity Suganya for having to go through the torture I put her through during Pc.
Hahahha.

After school, had lunch with Suganya.
Thereafter, was English.
It was held in the comp lab.
English was damn slack-ish and dull.

School's turning me into an android.
Honestly.
I feel dead in school.
It's a cycle: I go into most classes and just stone.
Except for Maths & Lit.
& I frankly still can't accept the fact that I spent 10 hours in total on Miscellaneous Exercise 4.
That's like 5/12 of a day.
Or the number of hours I sleep for on Saturday nights.
However, I doubt I'll spend lesser time on Miscellaneous Exercise 3.

Okay, I'm out.

You're back to haunt me,
But it shouldn't be this way,
Cause I promised myself, never again.
A promise, that I'm failing to sustain.

/edit
I just started on Miscellaneous 3 and I've got no clue as to how to do it.
I rather do Misc 4 again rather than do Misc 3 which actually looks easy-peasy.
AND I'm getting sick of blogger.
Might switch to livejournal soon.
Perhaps Friday?

This is my hw for the weekend :
Physics= 5 pages from the 10-year series, 3 Pages of Physics Wb, Physics Ws, few questions from Physics Tb & filing for Physics.
Chem= A few pages of Chem Wb & filing.
A.Maths= 9 questions & filing.
E.Maths= Filing
Lit = 3 SEQ questions.
SS = 2 Mindmaps, explanation & Journal.
CME = two projects.
History = Filing

AND everything's due on Monday.
Freaking Monday.

Oh I forgot about Mt.
2 Units consisting of 2 compre, 2 vocab sections, 2 same meaning sections, 2 translation sections, 2 proverbs section, 2 cloze passage, 2 re-arranging sentences, 2 blahblah, 2 blahblah, and 2 compos.
PLUS 3 other compos from looooooong ago that I haven't completed.
I should have just continued taking Malay instead of Punjabi.
Seriously.

This is gonna be such a great weekend. Not.
& to add to it, I'm aching everywhere.
My shoulders, neck, back, butt, legs, stomach.
I can't even laugh without squirming.
And my dark eye circles are so bad to the extent that it makes me look like i was boxed in the eye.

The pain inside is speaking to her.

; Everybody's changing.

I'm quite satisfied with results.
I should be, considering how little I studied.
Now I'm determined to study hard for the next exams cause I know I can get at least 4 A's if I study thrice more than I normally do which is still considerably little.

School's been okay.
It's been filled with so much drama, tension & apprehension.
Rumours spread like wildfire in Stc man.
& every lesson is replaced by gossip and bitching.
I sometimes feel like we're filming Mean Girls.

& this is definitely the year of making & breaking up. [ i mean it in the friends way luh ]

It's been only 3 months but school's been an ordeal.
I wonder what other 'surprises' 2007 has in store for us.

And these three months have been one helluva rollercoaster ride.

Binge-eating, I've been.
Caused by stress?

This is for you: It's breaking my heart to watch you run around, cause I know that you're living a lie.

Return to your old self.
Not for us, but for yourself.
But only if you genuinely want to.
Although I know you do.

And I shall end here.

I'm back from Efl :D
Woohooooooo!!

Seeing my family was divine.

First and second day of camp was okay.
It got sucky after that.
Blacked out several times while putting the raft together.
I fell down numerous times while trekking hence bruising my legs excessively :/
Not like my legs weren't scarred enough previously.
Night walk was like so un-scary luh.
Our candle light went out quite fast and I was like YAY!
Afterall night walk is supposed to equate to darkness.
Sleeping in the cave = forty winks, backaches, perspiration, snoring from suganya(HAHA), and getting a fever in the morning.
I was exempted of all activites for the fourth day due to fever and dizziness.
I missed abseiling and caving cause of that which I guess was meant to be the fun-nest activities for the entire camp.
& Mrs Leong asked me to drink 2 litres of water within 3 hours to rid my fever.
I drank like a litre in an hour(almost resulting in puking) and was left with no choice but to pee 3 times in that same hour.
Basically I made 3 rounds to the filthy squatting!! toilet in an hour.
So much for wanting to control my bladder till we reached the dorm.
The 2am train ride was coolios.
The toilets were not.

Godd, I'm so glad to be back home.
When I had lunch, I was savouring every single bite of my scrumptious home-cooked meal.
(mutton briyani!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Even the water tasted like heaven.
No more chlorine-flavoured water, toilet-smelling water & mosquito-infested water !

Showering, Music, Television & Internet is heavenly.
The bed was so comfy.
Goodbye backaches.
Helloooooo deserving sleep.

I would like to thank everyone who was so concerned about me when I was ill.
It meant so much to me that you'll cared and kept asking me if I was feeling better.
I was damnit touched okay!
It really shows that you'll are great, caring friends :D
THANKS! [:

3D is sexaye. We look like whoo. Y
3D is macho. We look like whoo. Y
3D is super cool. We look like whoo. Y
Hoogashaka, Hoogashaka 3d 3d whoo! Y


1 week holidays :D

Ca1 might be over.
But it's just another 5 weeks till Sa1.
But then again, that's next week's problem when term 2 starts.
3 more school terms to survive till Nov-Dec hols.

Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me

Valentines was on Wednesday :D
Best school day of this year so far.
Thanks to Maur, Gail, Jolene, Geetha, Divya, Narelle, Liuqing, Suganya, Melissa, Hsueh Ni, Yixin, Evania and the rest for the Valentines stuff (:
Oh, and thanks to those who gave me a bday present too (:

Today was CNY celebrations.
It was okay lah.
After school, I was quite happy at first then something totally ruined my mood.
Went Tiong with Vaish, Huimin, Patricia and Mika.
Had lunch at Kopitiam then took neos.
Left at 4.30

I'm so happy that there's no Mt school tmr :DDDD

I turned fifteen ytd.
Celebrated my birthday with Hsueh Ni, Vaish, Pat, Vino, Yixin, Maur.
Farah, Angeline, Bernice, Evania and Huimin couldn't make it :/
Had lunch at Village in Heeren with them.
After lunch, Yixin & Maur left.
Vino left shortly after as she was feeling sick.
Went to HMV with the remaining three.
Hsueh Ni and Pat left after taking neos.
Walked to Cine with Vaish to get a drink.
Looked around the Lime Flea Market.
Walked Vaish to Mrt station and then took shuttle bus to GreatWorld.
Came home, rested for 30mins then went for dinner with my family.

Overall, it was a fun birthday.

Btw, I got a new hp on the 9th that I'm in love with although I miss my old phone.
Heh.

; No i'm not okay.

Okay school is getting slightly better cause ______________ :D
Hahhaha okay forget it.
A.Maths test ytd was easy peasy.
Hopefully marks won't get deducted for my presentation though.
I wonder who's in my PBL group :/
I'm damned cause there's 10 days left to the deadline for Lit!
Ytd after school went to have Ben & Jerry's in Great World (:
Satisfied my craving finally.
HAHAHAHAH.

Okay, that's about it.
There's nothing much to blog about anymore.
And I know my post seems outta place, very randomish but screw it.

; haven't been in a while now.

; And I guess this is just how it'll be.

I do not look forward to school any longer.
School's a nightmare.
Dreadful.
Boring.
Sucky to the core.
The only lessons I can enjoy is Lit, Maths & MT a.k.a free period for me!
History too cause I can stone in an air-con room.
I walk out of Physics & Chem lesson each time with the same amount of knowledge that I had previously.
Nothing goes into my brain.
Gossiping, joking, stoning and doing other hw have replaced Science lessons.
Thank god for something called Having A Fantastic Tuition Teacher if not I'll be seeing red for Science everytime I stare into my report book.

There's Physics test tmr.
I hope I won't be staring dumbly at the paper tmr.
Hopefully my trifling brain still remembers whatever Physics stuff I learnt during tuition.
Thank god that I'm at least prepared for Chem test on Wednesday & A.Maths test next Monday.

And I've got 17 days left exactly to read the whole of To Kill A Mockingbird and complete the assignments.

It ain't no surprise why a whole truckload of Sec 3's just loathe being in Sec 3, now is it?

Last day of 2006 :/
It's been like the best year of my life so far man.
Best in like every aspect except for health wise since I fell ill every month and most recently, DENGUE which got me hospitalised.
I got rid of bad influences in my life, gained more closer friends, had loads of fun just chilling with my friends, school rocked, blahblah.

I have so many great memories from 2006 man.
-27th Jan.
-10th Feb.
-11th Feb.
-29th Aug.
-24th May.
-8th Aug.
-23rd July.
-21st May.
-17th Feb.
-8th June.
-Many Fridays.
-The times I went out with my loves and had a blast.
-there're loads more but i can't exactly rmb though.

I wonder how I'm gonna live without my loves next year especially Vaish :/
At least Vaish & I already planned to like go out next year a lot & stuff.

Godd, I'm gonna miss 2006 so bloody much!
I hope 2007 will be as great as 2006 has been.

I'm backkkkkkkkk :D
From the hospital that is.
Spent Christmas being hospitalised.
JOY!
Stupid dengue.
I AM SO GLAD TO BE BACK HOME (:
Mwahahahha.

Anyway, I think it's completing amusing that like all my relatives think I've become bones since being discharged from the hospital.
It's like I'm the same yet to them, I've shrunk drastically.
Godd, like seriously.
I look the same, weigh the same, feel the same.
It's probably my face that's just slightly smaller cause my eyes have shrunk in.
Seriously.

School's in a week.
:/:(: ?
I've got no idea whether to be happy or not.

; Drop a heart, break a name.

Last friday
Had CCA.
Went to New Horizon Centre in Toa Payoh to help the dementia patients.
After that, went to Changi GH to learn more about the Alzheimer's disease.
It was a Get Wet Day for me cause first, I splilt my coffee while at NHC twice on my uniform then at the hospital, I wet my WHOLE uniform both times when I played with the toilet swich thingy.

Yesterday
Went back to school to see which class I'll be in next year.
Well, I got the combi I wanted.
And I'm gonna be in 3D next year.
There's Gail, Jocelyn, Khoon Geok, Xindi, Maureen, Liuqing, Jolyn and Suganya in my class.
No more Vaish, Hsueh Ni, Evania, Mika, Farah, Bernice, Yixin, Patricia, Angeline, Vino & Grace :/
After school, lunched at TCC with Evania, Hsueh Ni & Bernice in Great World.
After that, took bus to Tiong with Evania to watch The Covenant.
Vaish met us in Tiong to watch the movie with us.
The Covenant rules <3>
Had the sundae pie thingy at Burger King then went home.

Today
Has been boring so far.
Trying not to think of 3d'07
Trying not to think that I won't be with my loves next year.
Trying not to think of how much I'm missing them already.
Trying not to think if school would be sucky next year without them.
Trying not to think of any of these things but so far I've not been successful :[
Seriously, I'm not looking forward to school next year.
I just hope 3d'07 will be a great class.


So, I guess this is it.
This is Goodbye.

Happy Birthday, EVANIA! :D
Happy Birthday, VINO! :D
Happy Birthday, SHERYL-ANN! :D

Saturday
Went to Vaish's house with Jolyn, HuiMin, Patricia and Hsueh Ni.
It was FUN, FUN, FUN!
After Jolyn left for her dental appointment,
we played hide and seek around her estate.
Goddd, it was so fun luhh!
Before Jolyn left, we were playing some cool board game.
After hide & seek, we watched Princess Hours or whatever it's called.
It's quite nice to watch.
We left her house at 6.30
Had dinner at Pizza Hut with Hsueh Ni and Pat.
The service was horrible okay!
They had a lack of menus, took forever to take our orders, and took 45mins before they served our food.
AND we were not the only ones who were complaining.
There was this lady who got so pissed off that she told off the waitress.
Oh wells.
Mrt-ed home.
Reached home at nearly 9.

Monday
Had to go to school to submit the class combi form.
I picked Combi 3 (physics&chem)
I looked through all of 2b's forms and like almost every form was COMBI 2!
Only 3 ppl put combi 3 including me.
Tsk.
As I was leaving school with Evania and the rest,
we bumped into Mrs Agatha Tan who PICKED Evania and I to go to Radin Mas for a while to help the Stc teachers there to give out brochures to parents of P6 kids :/
During the whole time we were there, I think only 1 or 2 parents came to the Stc booth!
Wth.
After that, Evania and I walked back to school's bus stop to wait for Vaish.
Took 65 and walked to Great World.
Met Vino, Suganya, Patricia, Huimin, Angeline (that's all I suppose) there to celebrate Vino's and Evania's birthday that falls today.
Hsueh Ni joined us later on after her dance practice.
We went to TCC for breakfast at 11 and I nicely went to eat around 3 packets of sugar and ate loads of ice. ( and guess what, I'm freaking sick now!)
After breakfast, we went to Barang Barang and slowly, one by one left.
First was Suganya and Angeline, followed by Vaish, Patricia, then Huimin.
I was left with Vino and Evania to stall them back for as long as possible while Suganya and Angeline bought the cake and the rest went to Jack's Place.
Went Jack's Place and the waitress carried the cake out.
Sang the birthday song for them then cut the cake.
The cake was bloody huge and was cut into 9 pieces for each one of us and Vaish gave me one of the biggest pieces okay!
I almost puked after eating the cake.
Everyone ordered lunch after eating cake except for me, Huimin and I think Angeline.
Vino ordered steak not knowing that it is beef so in the end she didnt exactly have lunch.
After Jack's Place, we played hide & seek.
Hahah, it was damn bloody fun.
Walked around, looked at Halloween stuff then went to Ben & Jerry's where we played Truth of Dare.
All the dares were like hilarious.
Went home at 5+

Tuesday
SICK,
SICK,
SICK.
:/
Went to the clinic and the doc said my tonsils are swollen, yet again.
It's like, what's up with my tonsils.
It swelled up just last month.
Bleahs.
I feel like removing my tonsils once and for all.
Hurr.
Supposed to go celebrate Halloween with the rest but in the end, we cancelled plans cause Hsueh Ni couldn't go last minute and I fell ill.
Tskkkkkkkk.

Anyway, I've completed watching the whole third season of One Tree Hill <3

We've split.
:/
School ended and teary eyes could be seen.
Watched Death Note with Vaish, Hsueh Ni, Hui Min and Evania.
Patricia had to go home so she didnt join us for the movie.
Death Note IS NOT scary but it's hilarious though.

Anyway the performances during school was quite nice.
Went up stage to collect Lit on Stage prize.
My legs were wobbly like jelly okay!
Tsk.
CATHERINE is the CHAMPION, FINALLY (:

Yixin's post is saddening :(

2 more days,
and 2 Saint Bernadette would be split up.
2 BLOODY DAYS :/
The year has gone by too quickly.
2b has too many memories,
both good and bad,
and I'll treasure that forever.
We might have been one of the most notorious classes in Secondary One and we're probably best known as the rebellious and playful class amongst the teachers but HEY, we're one hell of a united class and that's what counts most!
I'm gonna miss all most of you peeps :(





+ a few others .




Now to results.
It sucks.
I deserve it for not studying despite the constant poor results.
Well fine, I did study but it was not enough as usual.
Studying last minute ain't good, I know.
I just hope to get into Combi 2 or 3.
Preferrably Combi 2.
Will i get that combi?
Only time will tell.
For now, I just have to pray hard to get into Combi 2.


Anyway my plans for tmr is to go to Vivo with Angeline and Hsueh Ni if my relatives do not come over.
If they do, then I'll be gyming with my cuzzie sis and just chilling home the whole day though my preferred choice is VIVO, duuu-uuuuhhhhh.
I'm gonna do something productive during the holidays and I better keep to my word.
Joining courses, reading gazillion books, going out are amongst the many things to keep me busy during the hols.
I just finished the book "The Undomestic Goddess" by Sophie Kinsella and it's nice (:
I'm off to my next book, "The Marriage Marktet" by Nisha Minhas.
Anyway I found a whole bag of books down my block like 2 weeks ago and I took it lah of course.
The books I found inside were all good-conditioned and not laoya books okay!
There was a Harry Potter and Goblet of Fire book which I gave to Vaish, 5 Princess Diaries books by MEG CABOT!!!!!!!, 2005 Guinness World of Records book and a few others.
WOOHOO ;)

Alright-yyy,
I'm off!

; But I can still pretend with my memories and photographs of you.

Didn't go school today since it was Mt exam.
After school, met up with Hsueh Ni, Suganya and Angeline at Great World's MACS.
Saw Preena a gazillion times.
Then saw quite a number of STC girls.
Walked around, hung out, blahblah.
Then Hsueh Ni left followed by both Angeline and Suganya so I was left alone.
Went to Watsons and bought some stuff, then off to Coldstorage to buy snacks.
And MY OH MY GUESS WHO I BUMPED INTO OUTSIDE GREAT WORLD?!?!?
Mrs. Anne Kingsley!!
HAHA then we chatted for a while.
AND best part is my mum and dad were at the bus stop opposite Great World.
Imagine if they all bumped into Mrs Lee!!
Godddddd, hahaha wth.

Exams are like :/ duh
Nvm just a few more days and freedom.
I've got manymany plans for after-streaming (:
Next Thursday and Friday shall be fun :D

Byebye.

I decided to blog to kill time while waiting for my brother who was due home like an hour back.

Hopefully I don't screw up my English compo cos that's my only hope.

Anyway I've got a whole long list of things to do after streaming and among them is to go for Cookery courses and get a job with the rest (:

I'll probably go out this Halloween :D
Sounds like fun!

My eyes are killing me with their heavy lids so i better log off now.
Ciao.

; Cause I don't know when things'll work out just fine

I wasted my 1 week hols doing crap.
The only good thing I did was gym 3 times.
Shoot me man.
I've gotta study like 25+ chaps for Geog cos there's a test on Monday then I've got tons of hol hw.
This sucks big time.

:/

Screw it.
I miss those times.